HOW CAN I HELP THE ABUSED CHILD IN MY CLASSROOM?
Children who are victims of neglect, emotional, physical or sexual abuse need reassurance that they are worthwhile people. For some children, the teacher may represent their only opportunity for a positive relationship. These children also need:
Security.Children need to feel safe, and to know they can trust you; that you will not embarrass them by telling others of their problem or by scolding them. They also need to feel like they belong in the group.
Structure. Routines help traumatized children feel more secure. Their anxiety decreases if they know exactly and concretely what they are supposed to do and how they are supposed to respond. Concrete instructions and examples of what to do are extremely helpful, perhaps crucial aids to successful achievement. ("Pick up your pen, and write a sentence like this.") Traumatic stress induces a level of vigilance that makes it very hard for children to focus on verbal instructions. They will need many reminders and visual cues. In time, a child may feel more safe and confident and will need less direction from you. If you must vary your routine, explain exactly what will be different and exactly what you expect. Adjust for individual differences. One child may fit easily into an activity, and participate readily. Another may need to be eased into the acticity, first by requiring their attendance only, and later their participation.
Consistency and predictability. Children who have been maltreated have had too many experiences that don't make sense to them and that have come "out of the blue." They will feel much more secure if they are able to predict your behavior and know exactly what you expect of them. Describe new situations beforehand. Erratic changes in your behavior make the child feel insecure and afraid to trust you. Be consistent in your relationship with the child. For example, don't lavish attention one day and ignore him or her the next. If you behave in a consistent manner (e.g., treat the child courteously and with respect) s/he learns that there are people with whom s/he can feel safe entering into relationships.
Cause-Effect Linkage. Traumatized children have learned that no matter how much they hard they tried, they could not protect themselves or get what they needed. Cause and effect may have become unraveled. They may find it very difficult to see a connection between their efforts and outcomes. A teacher who acts like a coach�one who shows them specifically what is wanted and offers a lot of encouragement and guidance will be very successful. Maintain high standards, but allow enough flexibility that the traumatized child can be successful. Mastery is especially important for abused and neglect children.
Self-Regulation. Numerous studies document the abused child's difficulty in regulating anger and self-correcting. Trauma alters brain development and function by inducing a rather constant state of arousal which interferes with thinking well in situations that feel threatening. It takes very little sometimes to "set off" a traumatized individual. This presents a formidable challenge for the teacher. Creating a classroom that feels safe for teacher and children will go a long way toward preventing most problems.
Some successful ideas from other teachers include:
- Set aside a place in the classroom or school for children to "gather themselves together" or calm down. Some teachers call it a "cool down" place. Very upset or anxious children can't make good decisions until they are calmer.
- Give the child his own set of cards with pictures of different feeling states. Encourage the child to place the card that reflects his feeling state on the corner of his desk so you can easily see it. The child learns to monitor his feeling states which provides the foundation for taking responsibility for those states.
- Plan together with the class for times when someone becomes overwhelmed. If too upset or overwhelmed, a children can take responsibility for themselves by going to the "cool down" place you have already designated and then by returning to class activities when they are feeling more together. Ask the children to agree that they will go to the "gathering place" or "cool down" place if you request it. Make sure that neither you nor the students see this as a punishment, just a quiet place to gather themselves.
- Give the child a task such as delivering a "note" in a sealed envelope to another teacher with whom you have made prior arrangements. This takes the child out of the situation that triggered overwhelming feelings, makes him feel useful and important, and allows the child's anxiety to decrease before returning to the classroom.
- Natural consequences such as having to do unfinished homework during recess are also very effective if consistently applied to all children in the classroom regardless of "excuse."
- Always interrupt inappropriate behavior and redirect the child. A smile helps to reassure the child that you are not a threat, that he or she is still safe. It is when a child feels scared or threatened in some way that discipline breaks down.
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Strategies that help children to decrease their anxiety and learn self-regulation are much more effective in the long run than punishment, which abused children usually perceive as another incident of victimization rather than a case of consequences following an action.
Identity. Help develop a sense of identity by providing positive information to the child about him/herself. "You are a loyal friend," or "You are a person who doesn't give up easily."
Sense of belonging. Display the child's work, making sure s/he has belongings and a place for them. Put the child's name on the desk and place the desk where h/she is very much a part of the group. Encourage any involvement in group activities.
Touch in appropriate ways. With all abused children and particularly for a sexually abused child, be cautious about touching until you have established a good relationship and then touch only with permission. If the touch is only for your own comfort, don't do it.
Approval. A smile, a note on their paper - whatever you are comfortable with to show that you like him/her or what they did.
Help expressing their feelings. For example, when they say "I don't want to go to school," it might mean "I'm scared to start the new school."
Separate fantasy from reality without being critical; (child) "My daddy is taking me camping tomorrow." (teacher) "That would be great, wouldn't it?"
Provide opportunities for working with clay or other outlets for expressing feelings.
Be patient, and tolerate subject shifts when the discussion gets too intense.
A positive role-model. This can help the child change his/her self concept.
Reassurance that you will always discuss things that trouble him/her.
The child needs to know s/he is likeable.
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Consequences of Abuse | How Teachers Can Help | If You Think Your Child Has Been Abused | Mary Ellen's Story